A Pervert's Guide To Cinema: The Tulip Connection

When on a lazy Saturday Afternoon



"My Relationship with tulips is inherently Lynchian. I think they are disgusting. Just imagine aren't these some kind of, whaddyacallit, vagina dentata, dental vagina, threatening to swallow you up. I think flowers are something inherently disgusting, what a horrible thing these flowers are! Basically it is an open invitation to all the insects and beasts to come and screw me. I think flowers should be forbidden to children"

Now this is a Tulip.....



O.f'cking o

The Non-Anatomy Of A Blog Entry

There are so so many things that one can possibly blog about. So many topics under the sun, so many ideas floating around, so many thoughts we have in a single day! But almost none of them turn into anything concrete, say like a blog entry. Now why don't they become into blog posts or anything even remotely worthwhile? Probably because they are personal, you think its simply not worth it, you are not able to put your ideas into the right words or maybe simply because the idea is too damn bizarre. How many wonderful ideas do we lose in a single day? How many?????

The Cracker Crackdown

[NOTE: I do not wish to generalise the whole of the nation with this entry, however what I am writing about is the prevalent idea in my immediate environment(s). I am sure there are many parts of the country where crackers are still burst with all the enjoyment and fun that they bring]

Here's a question, what tagline would you give if a travel agent asked you to sell Diwali in a brochure??? Well, I'm sure most of you would have

come up with "The festival of lights".... but is it???

Over the past 5-6 years the amount of crackers being burst has definately experienced a downturn. Reasons..??

1. Child Labour
2. Pollution
3. Its just like 'burning money' (Guess that has been the age old excuse given by all 'Scrooges' out there who were against crackers (and the noise that they generate)

Now reasons 1 and 2 are very very serious issues indeed, there's no doubt about that...but why don't people think about child labour every time they visit the wholesale shop and buy clothes at 'wholesale rates', when they visit the mechanic shops to get their punctured tyres fixed, or even when they want to buy their beautiful carpets or awesome footballs?? I wonder.....

Or the environment when the shopkeeper hands them that plastic bag in which they take home their favourite chips packet, or when they (wantedly) forget to switch off the air-conditioner even when not in a room with they ever popular 'Shit, this is too hot' or 'OMG!! How much hotter can it get'.. yeah where is the concern about the environment, global warming or the melting of the polar ice caps???

I think the Indian psyche easily rejected crackers.. well, simply because its easy... Its easy to deny something that you don't have for most of the year and which is potentially nothing more than a waste of money. Its 'OK' with us to simply reduce diwali into just another festival with the usual sweets, people visiting each other and the poojas, but c'mon how many other festivals are celebrated in almost the same way?? I guess each family placed the burning of keeping up the spirit of diwali to the 'other person' till there was nobody left to carry on the torch.... We seem to
be destroying what might porobably be the most unique and widely celebrated indian festival with our small mindedness and pettyness...

With so much going on in the economy, why doesn't a private enterprise step in and start a cracker manufacturing company that does NOT employ underage workers? Or maybe even the government creating co-operatives that form a few months before the festivals, manufacture the crackers and then disband?? Where there is a will, there's always a way. And about the pollution part, well I hope people switch off the lights and fans before they leave the room, turn of the tap completely and always carry a spare plastic bag around when going shoppping. Maybe that way, over the course of the year they would earn enough 'green credits' that can be spent on the wonderful occasion called 'DIWALI' !!!

Article in The Hindu

Hey folks!!

Just wanted to let you know that an article I wrote got published in a supplement of 'The Hindu'

Here's the link!

http://www.go-nxg.com/?p=2609

This is also my first blog entry!!!

Thanks 'The Hindu' for publishing my article!! \m/

Rajinikanth

God is indescribable

Code Geass: A Tribute

Thank you

For the Genius
For the Learning
For the Entertainment

Learning To Learn

Hi
Yes Hi

I'm sure you've learnt many things in life, including how to say 'Hi'. Well, congrats that's something you learnt on your own!!! Ever wondered how you did it? Or even why you did it??? When did "Goo goo gaa gaa" become 'Hi' (No I am not going to go into behavioral learning or anything)

We've been taught many things in life - how to speak, how to read, how to write, how to do math, how to drive a car, how to bungee jump etc. Ever wondered why nobody ever taught you how to learn???

I know I needed to learn how to learn. Somethings are best learnt in certain ways and some in others..

These are some ways in which I discovered learning takes place in day to day life

1) Sleep on it - You never know what you might remember the next day and surprise yourself with what you actually learnt!

2)Observe.Break Down.Analyze.Integrate - This involves the left brain and can be applied to anything you want to learn but have no clue about

3)Observe.Observe.Observe - Let your subconscious do the learning for you. Like learning to ride a bike for example. There are no textbook on how to do it. You just DO IT, the max you can do is to observe a few riders.

4)Fake It Till You Make It Style - Keep doing things in a nOObish way, till one day you realise that you actually are good at it, yeah and you'll also remember the very many insults that people threw at you all the way (Now this isn't really a way to learn, but what the hell.. its a pretty popular saying!!)

Thats all I have to say for now
The quality of my blogs are deteriorating aren't they?? Hmmm...
Hi
Really Hi

@The Dentist

Aah, fck it

All Afternoon Long

I'm sure you've heard of 'Morning People' or 'Night People'.. but have you heard of the 'Afternoon People'?? I guess not. Somehow the worst part of the day seems to be the afternoon times. Its that time of the day when you feel your energy drain, the zest for life being sucked out of you and want to simply lie down and fade away. If there ever was a time when the Devil is the strongest, it has to be the afternoon.

But the afternoon blues seems to affect only the older people. I remember as a child, a day used to be divided into 2 simple parts.. one when I'm asleep and another when I am not. I used to wonder how adults could be so weak as to sleep when the sun is high up in the sky and providing his warmth to everyone. Its really strange.. I guess children can never be influenced by the devil :P

Science tells us that the afternoon blues are due to a drop in the sugar levels in one's body. From my experience I realized that the best solution to this is simply to have some sugar about 1/2 hour after lunch. Somehow keeps the blues away!!!

Now, GM

All Nightmare Long

Death Magnetic - The new album by Rick Rubin, oh yes of course.. in collaboration with Metallica. The Gods of Metal's new album since 2003's St.Anger (It actually won a Grammy and went double platinum.. thanks to me as well.. I bought the tape, yes tape.. I never went through the CD phase.. directly shifted from tapes to illegal mp3's like most Indians \m/)

Anyway, do I like Death Magnetic?? I don't know. Do I think it will be a hit? I don't know.

But I do know this...

1) Lyrics suck
2) Solo's suck
3) The sound absolutely lacks any feeling at all.

Metallica's music always lay in the guitars. The vocals were never the main instrument for them to 'communicate' music.. it was the freaking guitars. And in Death Magnetic.. they seem to have thrashed it.. all for just one thing.. thrash.. yes, 'Thrash Metal' to be precise.....

I'm not going into a song-by-song breaking down of the album for I'm sure you can find many other reviews for stuff like that. But I'd like to make one observation - The songs sound like a 'cut and paste' mashup of riffs that could have been the fulcrum for a number of great songs.

Even St.Anger had Metallica's soul in it.. but this one? No way!! There's no Master Of Puppets Solo, no songs that build like 'One' .. and Unforgiven III ... LOL!!!!!!!!! Suicide and Redemption doesn't sound anywhere as inspired as Call Of Ktulu, Orion or To Live Is To Die.. I really wonder why Kirk is so reluctant to hit any high notes in his solos...

Poor Metallica, getting all beaten and kicked over by pig-headed fans who fail to accept that all great bands have to progress ( Guess no one complained when The Beatles stopped making love ballads and released St.Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club.. a psychedelic experiment.. yea and that was mainstream them...). So what's wrong with Metallica making Load and Re-load.. if you don't like the music, don't buy it for metals sake....

If Death Magnetic sucks so bad.. I'd blame you.. THE FAN, for killing Metallica. Stop telling them to make music YOU want to listen to.. listen to music for what it really is. Maybe Death Magnetic would have a couple of songs with lyrics about love and fatherhood, but at least it would have been honest music.. not manufactured shit like Death Magnetic... Metallica sound like a band being forced to make the music that they so want to run away from...

"...The Slave Becomes The Master..." - James Hetfield, in the song 'End Of The Line'

But its Metallica, and I'm still going to listen to the album because "Free Speech For The Dumb" was one of the most liberating experience I ever had way back in Class VII. When all you could see and hear around you was the Backstreet Boys the song simply blew me away (and did I mention that it has the F word in it as well??) Metallica's been a part of my life ever since. The least I owe them is a good listen....



Oh, n btw.. 'All Nightmare Long' is probably the best song on the album for me at this point...

What rubbish have I written? This was supposed to be an album review.. fckkk......