2+2=5

The Crappiest Story EVER!!!

Disclaimer:
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Me: I solemnly swear that I shall not edit any part of this blog entry and is an accurate representation of the author's original writing

Here Goes,

One day Billy Boo went up to Mr.Pump and asked if his toast crumbs had been repaired.Mr.Pump said that the rocket ship still needed to be installed and that the chicken engine was dead.Billy Boo was shocked and screamed,"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!Not my chicken Cocoa he and i were supposed to eat Mrs.Chicken Aloo Tiki together!!!!!".Billy ran home to his pet worm and cried out,"Now who is gonna peck my back,whos is gonna give me bird flu and who is gonna run into the level 10 hazard area with me!!!!!!!"(sob sob sob).The worm then turned into the grim reaper and said that he would pose as a chicken only if he sacrificed a rock to him.Billy thought hard and wondered if he could give up his rock,his second most favourite thing in the world.

Will Billy give the rock,will he find a new friend and will this story ever make sense?

All this and more in The Crappiest Story EVER!!!!

TO BE CONTINUED..............

By: Ghosface Smeller!

New Meaning

Frnd (who is also a blogger): Macha, see u da.. what plans now?

Me: Nothing da, chumma only.. probably write a blog entry.. vetti only..

Frnd: Scene...

Me: Why do you think we blog da? Out of vettiness only right? Height of joblessness

Frnd: Appadi ella paka kudadhu da.. its literary mastrubation.. avalo daan...

I rest my case

There's Nothing We Can Do But Keep On Learning

I frequent the TV very rarely due to the dearth of quality channels thanks to the introduction of the Conditional Access System in 2003. Yea, 5 years and hardly any TV.. the number of blogs over here proves the point too doesn't it? But anyway, late one night I decided to test my tolerance to boredom and switched on the TV.

Randomly I found this --->

Lok Sabha TV. They were doing a documentary on Quacks in the country, and it was actually pretty damn good. They were exposing Quacks, Police Officers and even various 'Quack-crack-down' dept heads. With practical advice on how to identify Quacks and test if the medicines they prescribeare genuine or fake, it was a really brilliant documentary- something all people even remotely Indian ought to know. For once I learnt something.

And then there was this--->

The Big Brother of all Indian News Channels. They were doing a story about a poor innocent girl's murder (i.e Arushi) followed by what Madonna had to say about some random paparazzi...

News I can use?? Hell No!!

Oh, n hiring hot chicks as newscasters to increase TRP's of a channel.. good idea btw :|

1,2,3 Click

3 seconds, yes that's how long it takes the average human to decide whether they want to read a piece of literature or not. When you look at a piece of writing, like this blog entry for example, what did you first see? I guess it would be the picture of the lazy cat that has put down its book for the sake of lazing/sleeping/watching TV or god knows what. Now that must've taken you about 1.5 seconds to process. So I got 1.5 more seconds to make you commit the next few minutes to read the article. Well, that's where the layout and colour combo of the entry and blog come into play really. The nature of the background ought to hopefully cut down the remaining time by 0.5 seconds, so I got 1 more second to convince you. And for that, I have the entry itself. Damn, I couldn't beat you.. damn.. but if you are reading this.. guess I did!!!

Madness

The light called out to me
From the deepest of pits, unable to climb out
For where logic and reason gave in
There is but an allegory

Of no known cause, and of an unknown future
the coldness descends all around
And in the mind the lights that dance
they dance only to torment

The endless loop that ceases in sleep
Only to be replaced by another
Like the stormy seas that rock the mind
A perfection that can only be

In mortal failure does the soul lie
lying its way to sleep
The ground beneath gives way
Where time's own laughter is no longer heard
Into the abyss the consciousness leaps

Again, and again
and again

Oil vs Rice

Most families tend to undercount the number of members in it. Always add a '+1' or '+2' to the count. Yea, you really got to include the vehicle that a family owns. Apart from the fact that it does not talk, it really does behave like a family member (or at least a pet, but again those are considered to be family members too unless you call a fish(s) a pet and the trail of thought doesn't hold true.. but then again, there are exceptions.....) really, it eats (oil), falls sick(hence visits to the mechanic), gets cranky if ignored (refuses to start when you really want it to), breathes (yea air, combustion requires O2!) and also repro... what the hell .. this isn't what the entry is supposed to be about anyway......

Here's how it was originally supposed to be:

I have for some time been aware that many companies tend to 'google' prospective employees and look into their social networking profiles and blogs to see if the person they plan on recruiting is officially a psycho or not. They also want an impression as to whether the candidate is serious about the subject or not. Thus, on further investigation I have grown to discover a community of fakers who seem to have loads of 'fun' posting technical articles on their blog to impress their respective employers.............

But I actually have fun thinking about such stuff. Yes economics rox... what the hell .. this isn't what the entry is supposed to be about anyway......

Here's how it was really originally supposed to be:

Oil - The black gold that is suffocating the world today, because some countries (under the expert advice of powerful companies such as Goldman Sach's and others) are investing in oil futures because they are supposedly paranoid about future oil prices although in late '07 and v.early '08 supply >> demand.

Oil futures are basically deals between participatory entities that in the 'future' a seller of oil would sell a certain amount to oil to the buyer at an agreed price IRRESPECTIVE of the prevailing price at the time of exercising of the futures contract. This usually happens when there is a lack of confidence in the ability to predict prices of commodities in the futures. Can't explain more over here... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futures_contract

Oh, btw this isn't what the entry is supposed to be about anyway...... nah just kidding......

Anyway, excess speculation in these futures market caused demand >> supply of oil. This pushed oil prices upward as the oil producers can demand more prices for the increasingly scarcer commodity.. Oil. Now, what did the Indian govt do to counter the rising prices? It allowed oil companies to purchase oil from the international markets at the prevailing rate and sell it to the end buyer (ie you and me). But before that the govt gave subsidies, so that the end buyer (ie you and me) would be able to afford the high priced oil. (The govt did provide for the subsidy using yours and my tax money, so technically we ARE pauying the real price, but thats a question for later..).

Now lets take a look at

RICE

What did the govt do when rice prices all over the world soared?? They freakin banned exports!!! They forced the farmers to sell rice to the govt at rates less than the international prices and gave to the end user (ie you and me) at a lower rate. But who is the end loser here... its the poor farmers!! The so called 'aam admi' that politicians so favour....

Why not carry over the same policy as with oil into the agricultural sector??

If farmers are allowed to export the rice, the domestic players would have to compete with international bidders for Indian rice. This would push prices in the domestic market upwards due to which the govt have to step and subsidize the rice by buying from the farmer and providing to the common man(ie you and me) at subsidized rates. (Finally a way for farmers to become rich as they receive international rates for their produce, but that's not what the govt wants is it? For them it is in their interest to keep the vote bank poor so that they can continue with their fake promises!!).

The losers of the current agricultural policy are the farmers. The real gainers of the current policy on oil are the oil companies and other foreign investors.

Lol @ democracy

Btw, there are many other angles from which the problem can be looked to give an almost contradictory view, but in economics the truth can never be ascertained with a 100% accuracy can it? Do you see the newspapers/news channels successfully predict market crashes???

Wateva, my first semi technical entry.. Yay!!