The "Cool Uncle" Oath

A reaction to people around me getting married.

Now repeat after me:

"I solemly swear that I shall always be upto no good in your eyes.
I solemly swear to teach your children the wrong things in life.
I solemly swear to always be cooler than you.
I solemly swear to uphold the idea of youth even when I have wrinkles and white hair.
I solemly swear that I'll be the one you turn to when you need to handle the real, "real world".
I solemly swear to always be that Cool Uncle that all parents hate to love."